I am here to tell you to stay away from Splenda.
The other day I went to meet Pam at the park. On the way to meet her, I stopped at the store to buy some popsicles. I got some of those Real Fruit popsicles with no sugar added. I thought “of course there is no sugar, they have real fruit!”. So I went to meet Pam, and we started eating all of the popsicles because they would have melted otherwise. When we got to the last one, Pam read the box, and it said the popsicles had Splenda in them and that people with weak constitutions that eat too many may experience a mild laxative. I thought 6 popcicles each wasn’t too many, plus I don’t have a weak constitution. No big deal, right? WRONG. Tenderly Dead Wrong. Or more like tenderized poop wrong.
About an hour later Pams stomache started hurting. Then about 20 minutes after that, mine started hurting and we started walking home. I ran home and sat on the can with explosive diarrhea for about an hour total (two half hour bursts, and I mean bursts). I was afraid to go anywhere, so I ended up watching Scarface.
Apparantly, Pam and I aren’t the only ones who got the runs.
I never trusted that Splenda stuff. Yikes!!
I hate to say it but I just laughed really hard while reading this post. I wonder if laughing too hard can give one explosive diarrhea… if so, I want to see that on South Park.